Everything seems to be in a competition and everyone seems to be busy doing their own thing and forget to turn their heads to someone admirable. If you’re anything like me that is used to complimenting someone and receiving the same thing in return, it just feels so warm and light.
In these hard times, we tend to draw more attention to our work, we become habituated to the growing society, and we tend to deal with things as a perfect picture to strive harder -that we seem to forget to notice others. I hope this article will push us to compliment others more than we receive it. Giving compliments is not as bad as it is free and takes seconds to do. Giving compliments is better than taking them because compliment isn’t just an act that we intentionally say to someone. It is a positive energy that we allow to spread between us and the person we are complimenting. These are the reasons why I love complimenting others.
It Makes Us Feel So Good
Hearing a genuine compliment a person notices such as the vividness of our eyes, the texture of our clothes, and even our accent when we speak can help us feel good. Compliments can develop a positive avalanche that would boost our sense of worthiness. Being noticed by someone requires energy for them to say it. And when we hear it, we feel that we have become part of which we can say this must be where we belong. Little and useful words tend to make us feel more valuable than receiving none.
Some years ago, a study of the human brain was conducted where participants went on an MRI scan to examine how compliments can activate a human brain. In areas where striatum takes place, discovering that receiving compliments is like receiving a monetary gift. As time passes, it modulates the cognitive process to make us feel good, similar to getting a reward. This explains why people feel uplift and glow after hearing such good words.
It Can Increase Performance
When was the last time you heard ‘you did well,’ from your colleagues, or ‘good job.’?
Compliments may not pay our bills or buy us a cup of coffee but receiving them can help us to do better. After receiving the compliment, some parts of our brain releases dopamine which works as a strong motivator. Many researchers have already proven that compliments help improve performance similar to receiving cash or reward. In this way, compliments work for positive reinforcement that we tend to do the same behavior again to get the same positive emotion. Therefore complements rather than sanctions can be more appealing to us to rearrange the structure within ourselves to perform according to what is likable and what makes us feel where we are good at.
It Can Promote Bond
Have you imagined saying something good to a complete stranger and eventually lift the bond of getting close? That’s magic! Complimenting can make people close together. It is when you’re so open and welcoming that you never close your borders to find anew. If you pass comments with good intention and try to interact with somebody you just see the first time, the result will amaze you. In a snap of a finger, they will be inclining towards you.
I can tell you that we can make an instant friendship grow by feeding each other with positive comments. When I was in my early twenties, I lived all alone in the city where I only knew myself. No gals. No relatives and all. Being alone pushes me to become an introverted-extrovert. I’d be at the function hall for an event and before I knew it, I’d be hanging out with a bunch of unknown faces for the rest of the night. This was the time that I met someone willing to step outside of my comfort zone and say something nice to me that I was in the black hole not expecting to be hearing it from a stranger. That one refines a comment from a girl who now my best friend leads me from standing alone to talking, laughing, and even ended up sharing my social media information. It all started with her complimenting my 1960 Barbara Hulanicki’s vintage dress while we waited in line in front of a bathroom door.
It Can Be A Life-Changing For Someone
Take it from me. I was in a subway hurrying for a meeting when I saw a woman wearing a 3 inches hippopotamus sandal, a model from the late 1980s and I told her that she has the most durable sandal from a well-known brand. And I also said to her, “I like how you value old fashion because I’m an old soul.” After saying those, I can see how instant her face glows. She looked at me saying she was skeptical about the sandals before putting them on because it was old fashion. And she wasn’t expecting someone would appreciate her shoes.
See, we don’t know how someone is having a hard day or hesitant about the things they’re wearing or eating or making. But, being consciously unconscious with our words can sometimes change the mood of the other person. I can also tell that from many times I complimented someone it yielded me more knowledge. I just learned that she got the sandal from a shop nearby that sells classic brands from dress to sandals and how much it cost and later led me on my next shopping spree. Yes! A compliment is a life-changing shopping store.
It Can Help To Foster Ourselves
Sometimes we compliment because we either are seeing the things we don’t think we could or we don’t have. We admire them because they’re wearing it better, handling it better, doing better, and acting it better. Whatever it may be, sometimes our compliments reflect on us. We notice and compliment others that could help shape our desire of achieving the areas we are lacking or identifying what we’d like to change or improve.
In some parts, as we become conscious of others we also become who we are. As many would have said, what you see is what you get. And it isn’t bad at all. Maybe we like others how they post on Instagram because of their stunning presets. And the next time we find ourselves being lost in photography because we want to also have a good-quality photo on Instagram. See, how our admiration for others comes to discover ourselves too.
It Can Make Us Healthy
If I discover something about the compliment, it is being healthy without a cost. Giving or receiving compliments can make us happy. We have oxytocin or known as “cuddle hormone” and serotonin “happiness hormone” that if combined together will release a positive effect on our body.
I know you have read so far without telling me that you are struggling to give compliments too. Yes, we all are in some ways. These days where we give less healthy compliments, while we need it more than ever. We feel less value, less appreciated, and more stress. Sort of having woes and yearning for compliments more because we are receiving less. But if we try to look at ourselves, when we compliment someone more often, we feel small changes as a healthy difference.
A healthy compliment, therefore, is about giving it without something in return. We are showing to the person that we have found important to them and the moment we give it –is the moment we have lit a connecting thread to form a sense of gratitude to one another.