There’s nothing more disappointing than the feeling of being deeply in love with your partner, only to afterwards be utterly shocked by a breakup. If you’re comfortable and at ease in your relationship, the pointers that a split is brewing can be challenging to tell and even pretty difficult to accept and admit to yourself. While breakups are hardly trouble-free, no matter the circumstances, they can be somewhat less troubling, especially if you have a hint that something is wrong in your relationship.
According to David Rappaport, a spiritual counsellor and dating specialist, when someone is in a relationship for a given period, particularly when they’re affectionate to that person, it can be challenging to acknowledge the prospects of a breakup even if the signs are apparent to everyone including yourself. He further says that no one enters into a relationship hoping to fail, and that’s why many people stick to their relationships for a while despite the signs being on the wall with the hope that the situation can be salvaged.
In fact, if the two individuals are both keen on pinpointing and resolving their differences, then, of course, it’s possible to rescue their relationship that’s on the verge of collapse. However, if a relationship has worsened over time and neither of the partners is making any tangible effort to reverse the situation, then a breakup is pretty much imminent. Here are notable pointers, according to experts, that a split might be on the horizon.
1. Toxic Argument
It’s expected of couples to argue now and then. Still, suppose the arguments turn violent, and one of the partners starts manifesting unpleasant behaviours while fighting, like declining a gesture to stop quarrelling or, according to you, a silent treatment in retaliation. In that case, that could be a red flag that something is amiss in your relationship.
According to Rappaport, if one of the parties doesn’t argue reasonably and the two of you cannot reach a consensus from time to time, then this could be a clue that your relationship might be shortlived, and a breakup could be in the offing.
2. Infrequent Communication
Communication is pivotal to the success of any relationship. For a relationship to endure and flourish, there needs to be candid, sincere communication between the partners. However, if you discover that the communication between the two of you is declining daily, that’s something to worry about.
According to David Rappaport, proper communication is fundamental to the success of any relationship. He further says that if one of the partners ceases communicating, this relationship won’t last long, and sooner rather than later, the couple will be headed for a split. According to him, failure to communicate with one another in a relationship expedites breakup more than any other problem in a marriage.
3. Constant Criticism
Suppose you’re in a relationship where your partner criticizes everything you do and hardly appreciates everything you do. In that case, this indicates that all their affection for you has drastically reduced or is no more.
If this happens continually, this could signal that a breakup might be on the horizon. A loving and caring partner should always give compliments whenever you have done something good and not over concentrating on the negatives.
If your partner has been unkind to you for the longest, it may be time to reflect on the relationship and seek guidance from a counsellor if that is what it takes to salvage your troubled relationship.
4. Fragile Intimate Connection
Building a solid sexual bond in a relationship takes time, and sustaining that connection requires a lot of commitment. If you realize that you feel more detached from your partner than you used to be, that’s a tell-tale sign that all is not well with your relationship.
According to Caleb Backe, the health and wellness expert at Maple Holistics, if a couple stops talking and sharing ideas or if the signs of attraction and affection have drastically declined or are no more and you’re no longer having fun moments as they used to be then this could be an indication that the connection is getting delicate and that a breakup is imminent.
5. Sudden Change of Goals and Beliefs
For any relationship to thrive and last longer, both of you must read the same script on crucial things, such as your core values and ambitions as a couple. If your aspirations for the future are no longer aligning and no one is willing to tinker with theirs so they can line up, that might imply a breakup looming.
According to Rappaport, a dramatic change of goals and beliefs for either of the partners in a relationship signals deep-rooted problems that, if not checked, can lead to the collapse of your marriage. In a working relationship, a couple ought to be comfortable with the choices of one another. If the changes are not sitting well with either of the partners, then this could lead to a breakup in the near future.
6. Lack of Involvement in Decision Making
The most successful couples consider themselves as a team and make decisions jointly or, if not, at least consider the feelings of the other. If this suddenly ceases to be the norm in your relationship, then this could be a serious red flag that something is amiss in your relationship.
In as much as we agree that we need to be our people and stick to our principles no matter what, sometimes departing from that and involving our partners in core decision-making doesn’t hurt us in any way.
If your partner no longer involves you or factors in your feeling in decision-making, then that could be an indication of an underlying problem in your relationship. Also, if they show less to no commitment to the goals you used to pursue together, this could be a sign of dissatisfaction on their side. If not addressed, this could lead to a painful breakup. It’s therefore advised to sort out such issues at their initial stages, as this can go a long way in salvaging your troubled relationship.
7. Lack of Effort to Strengthen the Relationship among the Partners
No matter how happy and content you’re in your relationship, you should never desist from making the necessary efforts to be your best self and strengthen your marriage because failure to do so will give rise to cracks in your relationship.
Investing in yourself and doing everything necessary to be your best indicates that you’re giving everything to your relationship. According to Laurel House, celebrity dating and empowerment coach, when people commit themselves to something, it makes them extremely emotionally attached to it to the extent that they can’t afford to stay far away from their investment. Although it might not necessarily be the person who ceases putting in the effort who becomes disinterested, sometimes it could be their partner. More often than not, seeing your partner not bothering at all to be at their best self might prompt you to lose the interest and admiration you had for them. This could lead to a breakup if no intervention measures are taken out.
8. Reluctance to Show Appreciation for One Another
In a healthy relationship, it’s normal for the partners to be considerate and do things for one another in addition to expressing their appreciation when the same is replicated. Failure to appreciate the little things you do for one another may cause some partners to feel offended, especially if done abruptly.
Appreciation is crucial in a relationship as it shows that you value one another and don’t take their good deeds for granted. Not showing appreciation for the little things your partner does for you can make them demoralized and eventually lose interest in your relationship. Moreover, it can prompt them to stop doing good deeds for their partners since, after all, everything will go unnoticed and unappreciated. This is something that can result in a breakup if left to continue without any urgent interventions.
9. Getting Irritated About the Little Things, Your Partner Does
Initially, you enjoyed the moments when your partner would hold your feet under the table while you were having supper. Today, it annoys you badly. At the beginning of any intimate relationship, you get over heels for many little reasons.
But over time, some of the habits you used to love become irritant, and you start to feel like you might burst with anger. This means that you’re no longer affectionate to your partner as it was when you first fell in love, and this, if not worked on, can lead to a breakup.
10. Spending More Time on Your Own than with Your Partner
Sometimes, spending time away from your partner is really productive for your relationship. However, when you see no concern in not talking or speaking to your partner for days /weeks, then this could indicate that you’re actually beginning to feel more comfortable when you’re away from your partner.
Couples often need quality time to establish and foster their intimate connection. However, when spending time with your lover starts to feel like a burden, it won’t take long before you get rid of them and possibly pursue another relationship.
Honestly speaking, not every relationship can be salvaged from collapse; some are intended to be short-lived. However, if you’re always committed to strengthening your sexual bond with your partner and they are committed as well, you have a better chance of rescuing your relationship whenever cracks emerge. Moreover, if your relationship has deteriorated to the extent that you don’t see eye to eye nor talk to your partner, don’t hesitate to let it go when the time comes because that indicates that you were not meant for each other, and it now time to pursue new relationships.