I can still recall the moment I had to walk away from a relationship not because the other party cheated or hurt me— I just simply got tired of it.
Love is ideally the giddy feeling inside your stomach or the sudden burst of serotonin in your system but what if one day you just lost it? Well, let us consider partners that last for 25 or 50 years. Do all days look like the honeymoon phase? Of course, they are bumpy roads to cross on. We could only derive one conclusion: love is a choice.
Now, if you’re not ready to choose to fall in love every single day with the same person and experience all aspects of it, then here are 7 signs you must assess in yourself.
1. You’re In The Middle Of Uncertainty
Have you ever tried downloading a dating application and decided to uninstall it afterward? Or tried to go on blind dates but ended up running from it?
Yes, you tried to test the water but did not even dip your finger. However, if you did try it— are you still together? If you’re still giving the person mixed signals just because you love him but making things miserable for you two. Then, I think it’s time for you to call it off and stay out of dating for a while.
2. You’re Busy Building A Breakthrough For Your Life
Love is not in the number one spot on your bucket list. Am I right?
You would rather book a flight from one place to another during your day-offs or go bungee jumping and free diving rather than making dinner date plans with a potential lover. Maybe you’re very career-minded as well and aiming for that top spot title or being the employee of the month. It is not bad to put dating at the end of your priorities list but make sure not to multitask as you’re taking your partner for granted.
There’s no problem with filling up your own Maslow’s hierarchy of needs! Just always remember that love is also a part of it. Try to acquire it when you’re finally free to set aside your list.
3. You Have The Need To Love Yourself First
Did you give so much love before and now you’re left with nothing? If that’s the case do not date.
I can remember a friend that suddenly ended a long-term relationship just because the other party is not giving the same energy. The vibe, communication, and efforts are in chaos to the point where they self-destruct.
Selfishness is not bad at some point if you just value one’s peace of mind and heart. So, if you feel like you can’t give once again the same version of yourself to another person then it’s okay to say no for now.
4. You Still Have Some Trust Issues To Resolve
Number five is very much related to number four as trust issues are something we should fix on our own time and phase.
Maybe in your past relationship, you got cheated on or maybe lied to several times where you can no longer be able to find truth in one’s words and every time you try dating you doubt every word they say. You definitely overthink and play different kinds of scenarios in your head that may be impossible.
Relationships that lack trust in their foundation are about to fall like ruins. So, take this sign as a break.
5. You Still Have A Hangover From Your Ex
If you still sing in karaokes on Friday nights the line “shoutout to my ex.” Then, do yourself a favor: don’t be in a relationship.
The feeling of being sucked up in a time loop that plays the day you and your partner broke up while listening to sad songs is probably the worst night anyone could ever have and the three-month rule of moving on and finding someone new is never actually enough.
Some days you are fine, some days you cry, and that’s okay! What is not okay is using somebody else as a substitute for your Ex. You’re just hurting now, it will eventually fade –– hopefully.
6. Being With Someone Romantically Makes You Feel Sick
Just the idea of being committed to someone is impossible for you to handle. Perhaps you like the idea of dating a lot of people every now and then but being responsible for another being’s welfare scares you.
Although leading on someone is not something you want. Then, be clear on your intentions or better yet not date. Maybe your goals are not aligned as of the moment like the other one is maybe after marriage and you are just after some company.
7. The Ideal Love Of Your Life Is Still Nowhere To Be Seen
You have a standard that no one has yet met.
It is given that every individual has a standard. Maybe you’re looking for someone who is accomplished, handsome or beautiful, family-oriented, kind, or all the positive adjectives out there. Then, every time you date someone you suddenly get turned off when you notice the traits that you hate. The worst case is you “ghost” the person. Means, you completely cut ties without saying a word.
Having standards is not bad at all, it just simply means that you know what you deserve. All you do know is to wait patiently, date responsibly, and do not enter a relationship recklessly.
As cliché may it sound, love requires the perfect timing and the right person in order for it to work. Most importantly, put an effort into making it last. So, if you at least tick one or two of these seven signs then please do consider getting off in the dating game. Get back in its world when your heart is finally ready to get the butterflies until it flies away or gets immuned by serotonin and despite everything –– you don’t get tired anymore.