There’s nothing like a perfect relationship, as disagreements are bound to happen occasionally. However, suppose the relationship is founded on trust, mutual respect, commitment, and friendship. In that case, couples can reason together and address contentious issues threatening to sever their pact altogether. That’s what a healthy relationship is all about.
Nevertheless, if a partner continually feels disrespected, misunderstood, or afraid of voicing their grievances, this could be a pointer to a toxic relationship. If your safety happens to be under threat, it’s time to part ways. No matter the situation, couples must work to sort out their differences or else part ways. Sometimes, you may ask, “Am I in a toxic relationship?” Well, that’s an indication that some issues need to be sorted.
It’s important to note that unhealthy relationships assume many forms, some of which are challenging to detect, especially if you’re not a keen observer. Early detection of these signs/behaviors can see them addressed at the earliest time possible before the rot sets in. This post will look at the core signs indicating a couple is in a toxic relationship.
1. Your Partner is Dismissive or Belittling
The constant use of demeaning language, nasty words, insults, and screaming are all notable signs of an unhealthy relationship or marriage. Such behaviors are likely to hurt your marriage or relationship and ultimately result in a split. Any relationship seeking to thrive and last longer should have no room for such behaviors as they are one of the leading causes of breakup.
Suppose a spouse continually embarrasses their other half in the presence of other people, particularly family members. In that case, it will portray them as an object of mockery and people who don’t deserve to be respected. Such actions will greatly injure their confidence and make them feel more insecure. “Pay attention if your spouse often phrases like ‘no one is interested in you or ‘you need to be thankful I’m with you because no one else can imagine being with you or ‘you are very foolish, ‘” Such remarks may prompt you to believe them at last, forcing you to stick to this toxic relationship, ” says relationship counselors.
2. You Always Feel Insecure
If a spouse feels insecure courtesy of their partner, then something is amiss in that relationship. A healthy relationship should make you feel comfortable and secure. A serious relationship ought to guarantee emotional and commitment safety among the partners. If a couple can’t freely share their emotions because one partner is scared of the repercussions it might have, then that is a tell-tale sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. If you’re in a relationship where you feel threatened in expressing your thoughts and feelings to your partner, then your marriage lacks emotional safety. The emotional and commitment safeties are the key pillars of a healthy relationship, and in their absence, the relationship can seem fragile and mirror a rollercoaster.
3. Your Partner Never Accepts Any Wrongdoing
If your partner never accepts any wrongdoing, even in incidences where it’s apparent they’re at fault, then that is a pointer to a toxic relationship. In a healthy relationship, the party at fault should easily admit the wrongdoing and possibly seek forgiveness. The faulted party should also be willing to forgive instead of avenging the same, as doing so would further impair the relationship.
In a hostile relationship, the blame is often passed on to one person, making them feel guilty even for things they’re not responsible for. If not checked, this may result in one partner feeling liable for their spouse’s mood and walking on eggshells for fear of irking the other person. This can easily lead to a breakup, especially when it becomes untenable for the partner to be blamed for everything, even where they are not at fault.
For a relationship to flourish and realize its purpose, both partners must be willing to accept their share of the blame when things go wrong.
4. Your Partner Exerts Absolute Dominance Over Finances
It’s common for one party to have more control over financial matters in a relationship, especially if the spouse is mediocre in financial management. However, things can quickly turn nasty when one of the partners openly sidelines in financial decision-making or goes a notch higher to dictate what they should spend or the amount they can have at any particular time. In a positive relationship, partners should be informed of their spending and have a limitation of financial freedom. The absolute exclusion of one partner from financial decision-making leads to financial toxicity, which is unhealthy for any relationship seeking to thrive and last longer. The partner exercising absolute dominance over finances may use phrases like, ‘You aren’t good enough to handle the money, or you lack the capacity to make prudent financial decisions,’ all in a bid to justify their exclusive control of finances.
5. Your Partner is Manipulative and Isolative
Suppose your partner isolates you from other people and other social activities in a bid to keep you close by and contained. In that case, this could signify insecurity or the need for absolute control over you, which is unhealthy for a relationship. If not addressed, this behavior can injure a relationship since the target partner may feel that their freedom of association is being curtailed. No matter how much you love your partner, you should never think of denying them the freedom to mingle with other people or locking them up in your dwelling. This can create discomfort and hostility on the part of the aggrieved partner, ultimately resulting in a breakup. Hence, manipulation and isolation should have no room in any healthy relationship.
6. Your Partner Keeps Issuing Threats on Leaving the Relationship
There’s nothing strange in having disagreements in a relationship, even if they involve threats to walk out of the marriage by one of the partners. But when this becomes a regular occurrence in a relationship, it can signify toxicity.
If your partner is always threatening to leave if you don’t do something for them, or if they’re continually using the threat of leaving as leverage against you, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship. This kind of behavior is emotionally abusive and manipulative, and it’s not healthy for either of you.
It’s important to remember that a relationship should be based on trust, respect, and communication. If your partner is constantly threatening to leave and trying to manipulate you with the possibility of ending the relationship, then that’s a sign that things are far from healthy.
If you’re in this type of situation, start thinking about what you need to do in order to get out of it. This could mean going to counseling, seeking help from a professional, or even talking to your partner about how their threats make you feel. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you prioritize your well-being and safety above all else.
7. You’re Jealous of Your Partner
If you’re in a frosty relationship, you may feel jealous of your partner more often than not. Jealousy can be a normal emotion, but if it is so intense that it prevents you from trusting your partner, it’s a sign that something is wrong. If your partner is regularly talking to other people, flirting with them, or making it seem like they’re more important than you, this could be a sign that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Your partner should make you feel secure in the relationship and respect your feelings. If they don’t, then it’s likely time to reevaluate the relationship.
8. You’re Always Walking on Eggshells
This is one of the notable pointers that you’re in a toxic relationship as you always have to tread carefully around your partner. You may find yourself constantly trying to avoid making any wrong moves and constantly feeling like you have to watch what you say and do. This can be extremely stressful and can leave you feeling powerless and trapped in the relationship.
The feeling of having to walk on eggshells often comes from fear of upsetting your partner or triggering a negative reaction. Your partner might be unpredictable, so it can be difficult to know what will set them off. You may find yourself feeling anxious, hyper-vigilant, and always on edge in the relationship.
If this is the norm, it’s important to take a step back and evaluate the relationship.
9. You Always Have to Justify Your Actions
When you’re in a healthy relationship, it’s normal to want to explain why you made certain decisions or why you acted in a certain way. But when you’re in a toxic relationship, you always feel like you have to justify your actions. Your partner may constantly question your behavior or be overly suspicious of what you’re doing. This can lead to feelings of insecurity as if your partner doesn’t trust you.
It’s not healthy for you to constantly feel like you have to explain yourself and defend your actions. If you find that your partner is constantly asking you to explain your behavior and constantly being suspicious of what you’re doing, it may be a sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. It’s important to take steps to address this behavior and ensure that your relationship is built on a foundation of trust.